Blush Bridal Consultation Group

To tip or not to tip…and who?

I am asked this question on a regular basis by my clients and until a month ago when a fellow coordinator and good friend shared an article from Inside Weddings on this very subject, I was always a bit torn when it came to offering advice.  So I’ve decided to share some of the great tips (no pun intended!)  that Mary Dann-McNamee, one of LA’s premier event planners, included in the article.  As with any industry, tipping is extended to those individuals who have provided service above and beyond the expectation of their clients, and the same goes for wedding vendors.  So often clients want to express gratitude for a job well done but are unsure which of their vendors to tip and how much is appropriate.  As stated by Mary Dann herself, the following guideline is based on more than two decades of professional experience and more than 400 weddings, and taken directly from the article which can also be found at Inside Weddings. 

1) In advance, estimate each gratuity and then write a check or place cash into an envelope with the recipient’s name, and/or their title on the front of the envelope. The envelopes can be distributed to the appropriate vendors during or at the conclusion of services on the wedding day. An additional envelope can carry cash to make up for discrepancies once the final bill arrives and the percentages can be tabulated.

2) Write thank-you notes to the vendors who helped you throughout the planning process. Often, a sincere note of thanks is appreciated as much as or more than a tip.

3) Give the planner cash in an envelope and have the wedding planner discreetly pass out the tips to various vendors who have surpassed expectations. Since your planner witnesses more levels of services from your vendors, in public and in private, the planner usually has a broad view of how well the vendors actually execute their services.

Mandatory Gratuities
Transportation and catering always include gratuities (15% to 20%) in the total service fee. Gift basket delivery requires a $2 to $3 per bag or basket to have a bellman deliver to a guest room at a hotel. On occasion, hotel staff will hold a bag or basket behind the front desk and give it to the guest upon check-in, in which case it is wise to tip the front desk manager when you drop off the bags or baskets, just to ensure that your request is executed.

How Much to Give
Since all your vendors are in the service business, gratuities are a kind and generous gesture of appreciation for going the extra mile to make your wedding day perfect. The following list is of vendors that usually receive gratuities on the wedding day. Keep in mind that gratuities are customary, but not mandatory.

The following receive a gratuity/tip almost all of the time:

Banquet Captain — Oversees the servers and makes sure your guest’s food and beverage wishes are met. Often acts as the head maitre d’ for the reception and works closely with wedding coordinator. Tip: $1 – $5 per guest.

Hair and Makeup Artists — Assists with all the beauty needs of your bridal party, keeps flow of group while everyone is getting ready. Tip: 10% -15% of the total fee, whether you go to the salon or they come to you.

Bellman — Assists with loading wedding items, i.e. gifts, flowers at the end of the night, luggage, etc. to your hotel room or car. Tip: $10 – $20 each.

The following receive a gratuity/tip 60-70% of the time:

Wedding Planner & Team — Assists with all aspects of the pre-wedding planning and wedding day execution. They often serve as the designer, director, producer, therapist, seamstress, dry cleaner, touch-up makeup beauty stylist, coach, consultant, honeymoon suite decorator, bell-hop and bridal party assistant. It is impossible to categorize all the services your professional planner is capable of executing. Tip: 10% of total service fee.

Catering Manager/Director of Catering / Food and Beverage Director — Assists primarily with the pre-planning of the wedding day and occasionally oversees the Banquet Captain on the day of your wedding At the hotel, they can usually make sure your hotel suite is upgraded, amenities are given and your stay is special. At a private venue or country club, they can additionally oversee the kitchen and bars. Tip: $50 – $500.

Entertainment — Musicians. Tip: $20 – $50 each. DJ. Tip: $50 – $300.

The following receive a gratuity/tip 50% or less of the time:

Photographer & Videographer — A gratuity can be given to the “lead shooter” and/or the assistants on the wedding day or on the day you receive your finished product. Tip: $40 – $100 each.

Florist/Designer and Team — Whatever the tip, the florist/designer should divide it among the set-up and break-down team. Tip: $50 – $200.

Alexandra & Daniel’s Wedding in Paradise

…Springs, that is!  What a stunning couple Alex & Daniel make, and their wedding day was a true reflection of the love, joy and laughter they share.  These two are the sort of couple who you just know are meant for one another and seeing them together reminds me what makes this job so rewarding.  From the moment I met these two I could tell they were madly in love just by the way they looked at each other, and while I’ve only spent a short time around them, it became instantly apparent that they were a perfect match.  The pair reside in Burbank, CA (which was coincidental since that’s where I was born) but met here in Oregon where they’re both from so they decided to celebrate back home with close friends and family.  They chose an absolutely gorgeous venue in the small town of Monroe, just outside Corvallis, and it was absolutely breathtaking.  As soon as you pull into the driveway it’s like being over at a retreat far from the hustle and bustle of everyday life, and you instantly feel relaxed and on vacation.  The ceremony was scheduled to take place outside overlooking the gorgeous property, but our usual inclement Oregon weather was teasing us throughout the day once again, but thankfully the weather Gods were on our side and an hour before the ceremony was set to begin the sun made an appearance and it was beautiful the rest of the day and into the evening. Phew!  We had a fabulous team of professional vendors working which made for a smooth and fun wedding.  We had the opportunity to work alongside Anne & Paul Nunn of Anne Nunn Photography and they were awesome!  We connected several months before the wedding and Anne was a dream vendor as she was in constant communication leading up and through the wedding and the photos rock!  They speak for themselves so be sure and take a peek at her blog for all of them.  We also got to work with one of our good friends, Ryan, of Focal Point Digital Media, and his work never disappoints, plus he’s always fun to hang out with on the wedding day.  Jesse of Event Team Northwest did an amazing job of MCing the event and kept the party going strong till the end!  Mike and his crew at OSU Catering did a great job with the hors d’oeuvres, entrees and bar service and everything looked and tasted fantastic!  The gorgeous floral was provided by Kate at Flowers & Felicity (website in progress) out of Corvallis who was also a dream to work with.  The evening was a most memorable one filled with an intimate ceremony, funny and touching toasts by the bridal party and friends, special signature drinks created by the couple themselves and a dramatic first dance.  Alexandra & Daniel we are so happy for you both and thank you for allowing  us to be a part of your wonderful celebration.  Cheers to many years of love and laughter!

Kind words

In prepation for my upcoming wedding at Paradise Springs this Saturday I was organizing my many folders and sorting through papers from my past couple of weddings.  In doing so I came across a very sweet card that one of my recent clients wrote me as we approached her big day.  It was very touching and a great reminder of why I love what I do.  I’d thought I’d share it with you…

“Dear Amy,

I just wanted to say thanks for being such a fabulous wedding planner and more importantly a friend throughout this whole process.  My mother, bless her heart, cannot really participate, and my friends are all consumed with their own lives and responsibilities.  It really meant a lot to me that you were at the tasting with Vibrant Table.  You should really advertise your ability to stand in for the bride, and really more importantly, with the bride.  Hands down (after Charles) you’re the best decision I made!

~Janet”